1. |
Weapon
03:54
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I used to feel some satisfaction that I was doing better than you were
Now I just feel bad for you
As the last of my twenties turn to dust I’ve set a course to grow into a narc
You know I never wanted to
And I have no more stories to tell
I’ve never related less to myself
Privilege like a weapon, it will keep me safe
I won the lottery, I was blessed by fate
There’s so much here to look at, but for everything I see
Nothing’s going to bring back whoever I used to be
I used to have some clarity, I could see the goal and how I’m going to get there
Now I’m just directionless
I can still remember when I used to be good at other things
Now all I have left is this
Left myself behind, cut myself loose
The only person who will remember you is you
Privilege like a weapon, it will keep me safe
I won the lottery, I was blessed by fate
There’s so much here to look at, but for everything I see
Nothing’s going to bring back whoever I used to be
It’s nobody’s fault except my own
I’ll aim it at myself, I should have left it alone
Privilege like a weapon, it will keep me safe
I won the lottery, I was blessed by fate
There’s so much here to look at, but for everything I see
Nothing’s going to bring back whoever I used to be
Nothing’s going to bring back anything
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2. |
Different Things
04:09
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There’s this message that keeps running through my head
When I’m neither here nor there, just sinking through the bed
But when the morning comes I can never remember it
I wish I could, I wish I could
Wave hello to an uncertain future
Different things can be sad, it’s not all war
But not all tragedies are created equal
I just can’t see the gates anymore
But I can see the end, it’s coming
I can see the end, it’s coming
There’s this life out there that I never really lived
Holed up in my room, I wouldn’t dare to take the risk
And I tell myself one day I’ll do those things I never did
But I know I won’t, I know I won’t
I know I won't
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3. |
Except For Me
04:30
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No one will remember what you did except for me
They’ll love you for all your accomplishments
Nothing lasts forever on the internet
Everything’s forgotten in a sea of endless content
Nothing is as funny as it used to be
It was always like this, I’m the one who changed
No one will remember what I did except for me
Spending years of my life on what won’t see the light of day
I don’t know what I’m afraid of
I’m chasing after something I never could have been
I just wanted to make some friends
A little further to alone, a little closer dead
I’ve rid myself of all responsibility
No one’s counting on me anymore
I had my time to shine, it’s someone else’s turn
They handed me the key but I can’t open up that door
And I don’t see the gates like I used to
Like I used to
I just wanted it to end
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4. |
Optical Illusion
04:04
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Election day
Time to give up on any hope for change
Hell world is lying in the wait
Yeah, it’s in the wait
Did you graduate
Did you see it coming from a mile away
Thoughts that felt important enough to say
But I know I’ll never say
And I can feel it watching me, reaching through my television
I was given every choice, and I made every wrong decision
And the path that I was on was just an optical illusion
All along
It’s an illusion
I never dream
I just see my own reflection in the screen
I’m becoming paranoid it’s only me
That’s all I’ve got, it’s only me
Now I can see
I tried so hard to shake it, to get free
I walked what felt like miles but didn’t leave
I’ll never leave
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5. |
Portal
04:10
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I’ve been dreaming about basketball camp
I’ve been having visions of this never ending torment
Waking up in cold sweats, something out of place
The dream implodes, no one survives
The dream implodes, no one survives
I’ll make my peace, I’ve been dented
And everyone ends up different
God’s not trying to kill me, he’s just making fun of me
And this is where I stay, on the wrong side of the portal endlessly
One day I’m going back there
I need visual confirmation this place exists
And only then can I make sense of all that’s happened
It was nothing, had it coming
It was nothing, had it coming
I can see the end
It’s coming
I can see the end
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6. |
Falling Forever
01:44
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7. |
Landing Area
03:56
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Still depressed
Still frantically looking for a way out
Send smoke signals to an alternate dimension
Asking not for answers but for **********
Warning signal
Which one of us is flying this plane
Symbols painted on the tarmac convey meaning
Out of control, the pendulum is swinging
Back towards me
I’m falling forever
But there’s no floor, no point of reference
I know I’m not ascending but at this point there’s no difference
God give me the strength to fold into nothing
Some things in life you can’t do over
Not sure if those gates were ever even there
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8. |
No Way To Know
04:34
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I want you to know that it’s not your fault
I know anyone would have made the same call
There’s no way to know every result
Some choices aren’t fair, some are difficult
And I don’t care about the one that’s obvious
I don’t care about the easy wins
I wouldn’t choose this life if I didn’t like it
Open up the gates and let me in
Let me in
I want you to know, I know how it felt
For everyone to believe in you except for yourself
It’s all over now, you’re starting to melt
That choice wasn’t fair, it was difficult
Let me in
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9. |
Outside
06:28
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On the second floor there’s a doorway
I can’t tell you where it goes
There’s a plan, and somehow it involves me, but I don’t know
I don’t know
I went outside for the first time in a while
It’s getting brighter every day
And no one knows where I’ll be tomorrow, but I’m okay
I’m okay
I think that’s it
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Futura Free Ottawa, Ontario
Psychedelic emo from Ottawa, ON.
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