1. |
Event Bus
02:35
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Pull meaning out of pictures that are meaningless
I'm heated over something devoid of anything
I used to have these grand plans, I thought I had some substance
But now everything just hurts my feelings
Caught the bus in the middle of a blizzard
I'm freezing due to something I can't control
I'm paying out in spades for all the risks I didn't take
And all at once I've never felt so old
And I want to do better, I don't want to care so much
Does it get any lighter, would it kill me to lighten up
Am I under the weather, I feel like I'm losing touch
Cause I've been stuck here forever, why can't I settle for good enough
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2. |
Celestial
03:07
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The wind was getting colder, the sunlight on my back
That's the only part of this I ever remember
This is the fastest year I've ever lived, when did I notice that
Every week dissolves away, I'm left staring at whatever forever
I could never see what's in front of me
Live a fever dream, tell me what it means
I don't feel a thing for who I used to be
Play back a memory, what is happening
The seasons came and went but I hardly felt the change
It's harder to be mindful of the present
My past is unreliably, I was playing back my life
Staring down through rose coloured tunnel vision
And I could waste away and wish things hadn't changed
But all the glory days are equally as fake
I wish I could explain that everything's the same
But I've got nothing to say
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3. |
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Everything you did to them I know you can't take back
Thirteen years, you thought they wouldn't notice
I owe it to myself to cast aside the grip you had
To hold on to your records would be selfish
It would be selfish
I'm not mad, I'm just sorry
I'm heartbroken for every girl you did it to
It wasn't right of me to put my faith in you
I never did believe it when they said it all along
When they told me you should never meet your heroes
My father preached forgiveness, to show grace to those who wronged
Can I find that in my heart, I just don't know
This meant so much to so many people
What a waste
And it hurts to walk away
But I could never face myself if I decided to stay
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4. |
Net Positive
03:49
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I've been in a lot of different places at once
Reduced to blotted colours and smudgy lines
I've been trying to rediscover what defined me
I'm trying to see more clearly when the sun gets in my eyes
There's a meaning that I pulled out from the wreckage
It's not much but I'm doing what I can
In the wake of a total loss of structure
I'm laying a foundation, I could learn to start again
I am swayed, shaken faith, two whole years gone down the drain
More or less do you regret telling mom and dad that you were depressed
I'm sorry man, but there's a plan that I will never understand
I stared out at the nothingness and it started back
There's some people and I want to be their best friend
But they don't really care that much for me
And all I really want is to impress them
But it never is that simple, it's never that easy
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5. |
Unreachable Area
07:56
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How many times will I go out on a Friday night
Until I make up for all the parties I didn't go to
How many nights do I have to have a fantastic time
Before I feel like I'm not longer missing out
How many times will I wish that I could rewind my life
Before I make peace with the things that I could have done
How many nights will I spend outside pretending that I'm fine
Before I realize that something's wrong
I'm afraid of not being included, I'm afraid to stay at home
On the weekend, missing out, watching TV all alone
Acutely aware of all this wasted time
Counting down the days to a reset in my mind
I'm afraid that I've missed the best years of my life
And I see
I was dreading every second, I was waiting for the end
Pulled apart by everything I hadn't been
Reassemble all the pieces into something I'm proud of
I know I'll stay afloat, I know that's good enough
Every moment that you wish that you were anybody else
You need to let go of that weight, you owe that to yourself
One day I'll pull myself out from that unforgiving place
I'm alive, I'm okay and I'm thankful every day
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Futura Free Ottawa, Ontario
Psychedelic emo from Ottawa, ON.
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